Time can be a funny thing – I have been reflecting upon how this time of year can offer such promise and such hope of what is to come. Especially thinking about the natural cycles of life and all of the new shoots and buds that I have been closely observing both in my garden and in local natural environments.
It got me thinking about how time can be such an ethereal notion when we are grieving. Sometimes feeling like we are moving further away from our loved ones as the days, weeks, months and years tick by, but also moving towards knowing our grief in more depth which may feel like a bittersweet blanket to be wrapped in.
Time within grief is often not linear, shifting between moments of stillness, stretching out and distorted whilst blending delicately with the painful weight of the present.
Days may blend
Hours may feel both fleeting and endless
A muted feeling of shock and of loss as if time has just stopped
Raw emotion and terrible pain
Time as both the enemy and the healer
Grief inevitably becomes part of our story and no amount of running away from it allows any of us to escape its grip. Anniversaries, birthdays and special occasions often pull us up sharp as a stark reminder of what is now changed. And yet with time, some of griefs sharp edges can soften, the rawness and newness of lives changed forever can be moulded into the new life that now remains, and the stories, memories and reminders can occupy a cherished space in our lives.
I have been reading ‘The Magical Wood’ this week, by Mark Lemon. A tale of a family of trees, who loose Strongest Tree to a brutal storm. Through the seasons the reader is introduced to hope, acknowledgment, remembering and support and ends in the Springtime, with a beautiful cluster of flowers that had grown from where Strongest Tree once grew. Books are such a useful way to start conversations with little people who are grieving.
I hope if you are grieving, that the brighter days, the slight warmth from the sun and the hope of the future bring you a small amount of comfort in such dark days.
